4 words: hood of his car
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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