If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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