oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
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Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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