I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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