billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
