just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wear drunk well.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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