So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think a kid would responsible me up
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
