my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
