I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
