I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
