You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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