Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize