Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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