Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
