M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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