I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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