I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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