There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
