I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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