i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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