READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
