yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
