You're my little dorito
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
