Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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