you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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