so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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