"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
