They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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