that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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