So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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