you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
