yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
