Even the bartender felt bad for me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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