All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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