I just cut my nipple shaving
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
