I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize