Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let's get the cat blown out
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
