plz talk dirty to me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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