using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize