Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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