also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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