talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Soap is not a condiment
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize