I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
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The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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