I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
