PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
