# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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