That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize