Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
