I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize