I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
