Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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