The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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