He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
