i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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