is your mom at the bar?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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