There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
