he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
