I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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